{"id":12153,"date":"2018-10-05T09:00:16","date_gmt":"2018-10-05T15:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/?p=12153"},"modified":"2019-06-08T15:40:37","modified_gmt":"2019-06-08T21:40:37","slug":"of-picks-pans-and-potato-puns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/?p=12153","title":{"rendered":"Of picks, pans, and \u201cPotato\u201d puns"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"The Couch Potato Critic (Artwork: \u00a9 Gerry Kissell)\" src=\"http:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/Images\/CUBlog Art\/cu_potatocritic_newlogo.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"456\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Regular visitors to <strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">C-U Blogfidential<\/span><\/strong> know that we are absolute suckers for a good story involving some of the historic high points from <a title=\"SHOT BD provides thud-filled rush :: C-U Blogfidential\" href=\"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/?p=12026\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #800000;\">our community\u2019s cinema past earning a reprieve in the present<\/span><\/a>. It is also clear that we can be hopeless romantics when friends once belonging to our seminal <strong>Champaign-Urbana<\/strong> scene in the Nineties and Aughts make their welcome return to the fold, <span style=\"color: #800000;\"><a style=\"color: #800000;\" title=\"CA 2017 crosses 2018 threshold :: C-U Blogfidential\" href=\"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/?p=11428\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">however brief it may be<\/a><\/span>. For today, we have yet <em>another<\/em> angle on the retrospect front in that a former resident has resurrected his cartoon <em>nom de plume<\/em> used in a long-gone publication to playfully brand his on-line movie critiques. Who could have predicted it? We don\u2019t know and we\u2019re not complaining.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>Paul Young<\/strong>\u2019s alternative weekly newspaper, <strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The Octopus<\/span><\/strong>, grew fast and built a sizeable roster to cover the culture, politics, and art in our immediate region. When the movies received their own section once <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The Octopus<\/span> began publishing weekly in August 1996, knowledgeable writers like <a title=\"Chuck Koplinski @ Twitter\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/ckoplinski\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><span style=\"color: #800000;\">Chuck Koplinski<\/span><\/strong><\/a> and <a title=\"Stephanie Spiro @ Twitter\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/stephspiro?lang=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><span style=\"color: #800000;\">Stephanie Spiro<\/span><\/strong><\/a> chimed in on the new releases from blockbusters to boutique titles hitting town \u201cfor one week only.\u201d There just <em>had<\/em> to be one contributor in the new configuration who did not submit reviews quite like the others, of course, offering up breezy capsule comments on films just entering the home video market. Sometimes he hunkered down on a single title, more often he snacked briefly on two, three, or four movie morsels, and occasionally he doled out the droll listicle. What seemed like a stunt when it first appeared in the <strong>August 30<\/strong> issue and praised <strong>SCREAMERS<\/strong> with <strong>Peter Weller<\/strong> \u2013 \u201c<strong>The Couch Potato Video Critic<\/strong>\u201d? Four-potato rating system? \u2013 turned into a dependable entertainment fully loaded with snarky humor, a big heart, and an honest appreciation of the storytelling form when he felt a flick got it right.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"'Code Word: Geronimo' wraparound cover art (Artwork: \u00a9 Kissell Studios\/IDW)\" src=\"http:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/Images\/CUBlog Art\/cu_potatocritic_geronimoart.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"364\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">This encapsulates just about everything that comes out of the paintbrush, pen, or word processor of \u201cindustrial artist\u201d <strong>Gerry Kissell<\/strong>, who doubled down as the \u201cCouch Potato\u201d alongside other <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Octopus<\/span> staff <a title=\"Once Bonded, Brew &amp; View thrice :: C-U Blogfidential\" href=\"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/?p=10532\"><span style=\"color: #800000;\">such as your eventual humble editor<\/span><\/a>. Working as a CNA and at other odd jobs while living in Champaign, Urbana, or <strong>Savoy<\/strong> for much of the decade, Kissell used the newspaper as a creative outlet while pushing to build a portfolio of science-fiction and pop culture samples. The former U.S. Army EMT has settled in <strong>Missouri<\/strong> and stuck to his guns since leaving <strong>Champaign County<\/strong> roughly 20 years ago; <span style=\"color: #800000;\"><a style=\"color: #800000;\" title=\"Gerry Kissell :: Official Site\" href=\"http:\/\/gerrykissell.wixsite.com\/kissellstudios\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">an extensive list of accomplishments<\/a><\/span> include cover designs, comic book pencils, inks, and coloring (<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>Iron Sky<\/strong><\/span>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>Code Word: Geronimo<\/strong><\/span>), screenplay writing, movie poster illustration, research and development of soldier-centered media with other veterans such as <strong>Hollywood<\/strong>\u2019s go-to consultant <strong>Dale A. Dye<\/strong> (<strong>PLATOON, JFK<\/strong>), and an ongoing rapport with <strong>Sam Raimi<\/strong> associate <a title=\"Beckerfilms :: Home Page\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beckerfilms.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><span style=\"color: #800000;\">Josh Becker<\/span><\/strong><\/a> (<strong>XENA, LUNATICS: A LOVE STORY<\/strong>) that includes promotional pieces for the latter\u2019s period drama that is currently filming in <strong>Michigan<\/strong>, <strong>WARPATH<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Much to our surprise, Kissell has added back \u201cThe Couch Potato Critic\u201d to his arsenal of current projects after fielding an overture from the Web site <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>Film Dumpster<\/strong><\/span>. <a title=\"Reviews :: Film Dumpster\" href=\"http:\/\/www.filmdumpster.com\/category\/blogs\/filmreviews\/\"><span style=\"color: #800000;\">You can follow their \u201cReview\u201d page<\/span><\/a> to see Kissell\u2019s takes on the latest films including <strong>THREE IDENTICAL STRANGERS, THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS<\/strong>, and <strong>WON\u2019T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?<\/strong> The same plus various Internet flotsam and jetsam in the cinema vein can be found on <a title=\"The Couch Potato Critic @ Facebook\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Couch-Potato-Critic-2192675451007353\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #800000;\">his <strong>Facebook<\/strong> account<\/span><\/a>. We believe this is basically word recess for its author when he\u2019s not tackling the heavy-duty, bread-and-butter work on his plate, yet it\u2019s an agreeable way to learn what our ol\u2019 potato pal considers \u201cgood taste\u201d in the here and now.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Below we have provided a handful of fully-loaded samples from the original \u201cCouch Potato\u201d run in <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The Octopus<\/span> between 1996 and 1998. Since a fair percentage of those choices are of the genre and direct-to-video variety, it was always a guessing game as to when Kissell might lay on the sarcasm thick like butter when the duds barely rated a spud. Maybe the OGCPC will archive his entire output in the future.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">~ Jason Pankoke<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><em>p.s.<\/em> Following the excerpts is a brand-new trailer for Becker\u2019s independent production from <em>last<\/em> year, <strong>MORNING, NOON &amp; NIGHT<\/strong>, which will receive a one-week run at the <strong>Laemmle Music Hall<\/strong> in <strong>Beverly Hills, CA<\/strong>, beginning this <strong>Friday, October 5<\/strong>. Can you name what <span style=\"color: #800000;\"><a style=\"color: #800000;\" title=\"Panoramic Pictures :: Home Page\" href=\"https:\/\/panoramicpicturesco.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">previous <strong>Panoramic Pictures<\/strong> release<\/a><\/span> the music bed comes from?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><em>p.s.2<\/em> Kissell was the instigator for <strong>Bruce Campbell<\/strong> and Becker to visit Champaign-Urbana in October 1997 and guest star at the first <strong>Freaky Film Festival<\/strong>, by the by. <a title=\"Groovy! BRUCE to cut loose Dec. 1 :: C-U Blogfidential\" href=\"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/?p=159\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #800000;\">Let us never forget that<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">~~~~~<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"'The Couch Potato Video Critic' column, The Octopus, Vol. 3, No. 15, 4\/18\/97, p.16 (\u00a9 The Octopus, Inc.\/Collection of the author)\" src=\"http:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/Images\/CUBlog Art\/cu_potatocritic_clipping.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"519\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">~~~~~<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201c<strong>Christian Duguay<\/strong>, who as a firm grasp of this genre, directs what could be one of the most cerebral and emotional sci-fi films since <strong>BLADE RUNNER<\/strong>. The CGI effects are non-plastic, fantastic and don\u2019t eat up too much screen time. When the action comes (not often enough), it\u2019s intense and believable.\u201d <em>SCREAMERS Rates Four Potatoes<\/em>. <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The Octopus<\/span>, Vol. 2, No. 9, 8\/30\/96, p.12<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cThe <strong>Coens<\/strong> are just like movie elves, only different. True cine-magic! [<strong>FARGO<\/strong>] is gruesome, witty, smart, catchy, wicked, and \u2026 uh, did I say gruesome? This is the must-see film of 1996.\u201d <em>Four frozen potatoes<\/em>. Vol. 2, No. 15, 10\/11\/96, p.10<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201c[<strong>Kevin<\/strong>] <strong>Costner<\/strong> has definitely earned his penance for his extravagant flop <strong>WATERWORLD<\/strong> with <strong>TIN CUP<\/strong>, truly one of the funniest films of the year. The only thing better than the humor in this film is the superlative cast\u2026\u201d <em>Fore!!! Potatoes<\/em>. Vol. 2, No. 25, 12\/20\/96, p.12<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cAfter [<strong>Robert<\/strong>] <strong>DeNiro<\/strong> feels he\u2019s helped [<strong>Wesley<\/strong>] <strong>Snipes<\/strong>\u2019 [baseball player character\u2019s] career get back on track, all he wants is a thank-you. But, as with everything in life, we never get what we want. Next, there\u2019s this little kidnapping and\u2026 Hey! See [<strong>THE FAN<\/strong>] for the rest of the plot. It <em>is<\/em> a thriller, you know.\u201d <em>Two and a half fanatical spuds<\/em>. Vol. 3, No. 5, 1\/31\/97, p.16<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cThere were a couple of good scenes surrounded by an armada of really bad ones. Good cast, cast badly. Average screen F\/X. Written to be commercial, not common-sensical [sic]. I remember having a dose of influenza that was more entertaining and brought up more subjects of substance than <strong>SOLO<\/strong> did.\u201d <em>One Solo Potato<\/em>. Vol. 3, No. 9, 3\/7\/97, p.18<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cGood Googamooga! <strong>THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT<\/strong> is the best of the American-made Femme Fatale films \u2026 [w]ith slam-bang action that leaves your eyeballs being held in only by their optic nerves, this film will not disappoint.\u201d <em>Four Forget Me Not Fritters<\/em>. Vol. 3, No. 13, 4\/4\/97, p.16<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cThis video is like [<strong>MIGHTY MORPHIN\u2019<\/strong>] <strong>POWER RANGERS<\/strong> with profanity and gore. Although I did enjoy a few of the action scenes, overall this film was a major disappointment in plot and FX. If you are a fan of Japanese films and animation as I am \u2026 avoid this one and opt for more classic videos like <strong>GODZILLA<\/strong>, <strong>AKIRA<\/strong> or <strong>GHOST IN THE SHELL<\/strong>.\u201d <em>No Ze-Yams!<\/em> Vol. 3, No. 15, 4\/18\/97, p.16<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201c[What] <strong>Jackie<\/strong> [<strong>Chan<\/strong>] lacks in ability to come up with great plots, he makes up for in pure bravado and humor. This time out [in <strong>FIRST STRIKE<\/strong>] we find our hero Jackie pitted against some thugs on skis; he fights them under water while avoiding some hungry sharks, he fights them while wearing stilts, using a ladder and while dressed like a koala. There\u2019s nothing this guy can\u2019t do!\u201d <em>Three and a half Kung-Fu Fritters!<\/em> Vol. 3, No. 29, 8\/15\/97, p.10<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cIt\u2019s <strong>Halloween<\/strong> again, which means another selection of just a few of my favorite horror flicks to watch when the lights are low and the harvest moon is high \u2026 5) <strong>SILENCE OF THE LAMBS<\/strong> (Pork chops with a side of <strong>Jodie <\/strong>[<strong>Foster<\/strong>]) \u2026 12) <strong>THE PROPHECY<\/strong> (Proof that <strong>Christopher Walken<\/strong> doesn\u2019t have to act to be scary) \u2026 15) <strong>FRIGHT NIGHT<\/strong> (Better than SCARY DAY) \u2026 18) <strong>THE THING<\/strong> (Either the carrot or the squid version) \u2026 22) <strong>IT\u2019S ALIVE<\/strong> (Horror\u2019s answer to <strong>Tickle Me Elmo<\/strong>) \u2026 28) <strong>ALLIGATOR<\/strong> (Or BEYOND THE TOILET LID) \u2026\u201d Vol. 3, No. 39, 10\/24\/97, p.20<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">~~~~~<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/OLwuEv0YIKo\" width=\"450\" height=\"253\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Former Champaign County resident Gerry Kissell, a commercial illustrator in science-fiction and military storytelling, has brought back his C-U movie-reviewing alter ego, the Couch Potato Critic. Dine in and read on!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,1994,274,31],"tags":[93,1933,1998,1995,1999,1997,1996,672],"class_list":["post-12153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alums-done-good","category-personalities-du-c-u","category-print-matter-du-c-u","category-the-old-school","tag-bruce-campbell","tag-film-criticism","tag-film-dumpster","tag-gerry-kissell","tag-graphic-novel-art","tag-josh-becker","tag-the-couch-potato-critic","tag-the-octopus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12153\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.micro-film-magazine.com\/cublog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}